Hisasgi, Ichigo, and the Squirrel
by LightGirl101
Summary: Ichigo finds a squirrel, who immediately decides he hates Hisagi. Random pointless one-shot.


Summary; Ichigo finds a squrrel, which quickly decides that it hates Hisagi. Random, pointless one-shot.

Monday...

Hisagi Shuuhei stared down at the fuzzy little demon that Renji and Rukia's newest friend, Kurosaki Ichigo, had found yesterday when he'd been hiding away in the Rukongai from the Fourth Division since they wouldn't let him even walk around. Needless to say, Unahana finally relented, albeit with a smile that put everyone in sight on edge, and allowed him to walk around if he promised not to strain himself before the injuries he'd gotten from Byakuya and then later Aizen on Sokyoku Hill just last week... it was actually a wonder how he was even awake, with how fatal his injuries were.

Anyway, back to the little demon that was currently glaring back at the dark haired luitenant. It didn't like him. Probably because he had unknowingly destroyed its home when he was practising with Kazeshini several years back.

Never let it be said that squirrels didn't hold a grudge.

It was a clever little creature. Attacking him when Ichigo, his new _owner_ wasn't around, and becoming all sweet and innocent whenever he or someone else was. It had tried to make him fall down the stairs just an hour ago, had been attacking his face whenever the luitenant scratched his ear in annoyance, and had even tried dumping some acid on him a few moments before... how something so little could place a bucket that large above the door to his office, Hisagi didn't even _want_ to try and comprehend...

"Hey Shuuhei." his own best friend, Kira Izuru greeted as he entered the room, deftly stepping over the _hole in the ground_ from the deadly strong acid that had been dumped there.

"Izuru." he said curtly, not taking his eyes off the little monster that was causing him and only him greif.

"Is that... ah... Kurosaki-san's... erm... squirrel?" Kira said awkwardly, frowning in confusion as his best friend glared down at the animal, which simply blinked back at them both innocently.

"Yes." His reply was more of a hiss than a simply answer and Kira blinked a few times.

"Are you alright, Shuuhei?" he said in concern, "I'm sure that whatever he did, it was an accident. You usually don't take things so personally..." Kira trailed off at the dark look that his friend gave him before turning wide eyes back to the monster, which hadn't moved other than tilting his head cutely to the side.

"This little _demon_ tried to kill me! Twice!" Hisagi returned in frustration, huffing and waiting for the squirrel to realize that Kira wasn't leaving and that if it wanted to attack than he'd have to do so in front of his friend.

Kira watched his friend watch the animal for a whole of ten minutes before the creature finally turned around and scurried out the window, leaving Hisagi annoyed and Kira concerned for his mental health.

Later that Same Day...

Ichigo sighed as he sat in a meditative stance, having learned how to talk to Zangetsu whenever he liked from Isane and Renji both, Isane explaining and Renji giving the uneeded simpler version seconds later, saying he was too dumb to understand it the way Isane had said.

He was startled from his inner world by a soft nudging on his hand. Amber eyes blinking, the berry looked down to find his newest friend, a little squirrel which he'd named Zangu, trying to get his attention.

"Oh there you are." he said stupidly, "Where'd you run off to?" As expected, all he got was a tilt of the head in return.

I wasn't trying to kill Hisagi, if that's what you're asking, the little creature intoned to itself mischieviously, looking at his friend, who he'd immediately like upon seeing him in the forests around Rukongai. He clicked his teeth together in little chatters, knowing that either way the human wouldn't understand but still feeling the need to explain himself.

"Huh." Ichigo mumbled, scratching his ear in a very remnisent way to Hisagi, making Zangu twitch a bit. He yawned, closing his eyes breifly as he heard Zangetsu sigh but got no variation as to what he was thinking.

"Ohaiyou, Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime chirped, opening the door to his room and skipping in cheerfully, "How are you feeling today?"

"I'd say 'never better' but that would be lying." Ichigo replied honestly, "But I do feel better than yesterday..."

The red head beamed, "That's good! Oh!" she reached into her pocket and held out an acorn, "I found this and thought that Zangu-chan would like it for a snack!"

The fuzzy creature scurried over to her, running up her arm and situating himself on her shoulder, giving a few chatters of thanks when she handed it to him. He took a nibble and inwardly gagged at the strange taste that covered he usual favorite treat. Ah well, at least I have something to throw at Hisagi... It gave a few more chatters, nudged the giggling Orihime's cheek affectionately, squeaked once at Ichigo, and scurring out the window with his acorn, intent on finding more of them.

Next Day...

Hisagi was sleeping at his desk, having fallen asleep doing paperwork, when he felt a gentle nudge on his cheek. "Go 'way Rangiku-san. I don't wan' anymore saki..." he mumbled tiredly, swatting the air but hitting nothing. He snuggled deeper into his papers and then yelped when he felt a sharp sting go across his cheek. "What the FUCK!" he hollered before his eyes zeroed in on 'Zangu', who was staring at him in seeming innocents, even with the little bit of blood on his left paw from clawing at the luitenant's face. "Oh, it's you." he said darkly.

Of course it's me, the squirrel chatted back, who else were you expectin'? He took a few quick steps forward and Hisagi instincitvely pulled back, inwardly annoyed at his own subconscious reaction. Really, squirrels weren't _that_ scary.

In ten minutes, he knew he'd been proven wrong as he was being shot at on all side by _acorns_ and a _dozen_ different squirrels! Hisagi shouted profanities as he caught some, was hit by others, and then clawed in the face by a random little demon before there was a knock on the door and all movement and noise stopped.

"Shuuhei!" Rangiku called cheerfully, "Are you alright in there?"

Hisagi quickly stumbled to the door, "No, I'm not!" he raged immediately, startling her at his ravaged appearance, "Ichigo's _fucking_ squirrel is out to kill me!"

Rangiku nodded sollemnly, "I don't know what you've got against squirrel, Shuuhei-kun, but Kira already told me about this and I've got something to say - Zangu-chan is _not_ evil and he's _not_ trying to kill you."

"Oh really, than how do you explain _this_?" he moved aside and gestured to the room.

"Uhm, what am I supposed to be seeing?" Rangiku frowned.

"What do you- Oh you've _got_ to be kidding me!" he had turned to his office, expecting acorns and papers and dozens a squirrels to be littering it, but found it _perfectly spotless_ and not a single nut in sight.

"Come on, Shuuhei-kun, you need a drink." Rangiku said gently, grabbing his arm and pulling him away.

Several hours later, when he finally got back to finish his work, slightly hung over, he opened his closet and screamed as papers and acorns and _squirrel_s immediately fell on him as an avolanch before the chaos once again prevailed.

"Hey Hisagi-san, have you-?" Ichigo had walked in to speak with Hisagi, having heard of his little breakdown, and stared at the huge mess of animal attacks. Not one of them was Zangu, but it certainly explained why Hisagi thought that he was out to get him. He backed out and shut the door, walking away as quickly as possible.

He found his squirrel with Kira half an hour later.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but a bunch of animals were attacking Hisagi when I went to talk to him." Ichigo exclaimed to Zangu as he was ushered back to his room in the fourth division. "It was insane!"

Really, said Zangu with a tiny feeling of self accomplishment, I never woulda guessed.


End file.
